Paper Example: Communicating With Former Classmates During the Lockdown

Step 1 - Describe the findings. (100 to 150 words) – Only this part is due at the end of week 1

I had a conversation with two of my former classmates about their experiences during the lockdown period of the Coronavirus pandemic. One conversation was through phone texting, and another one was via video chat.

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The text conversation took almost 20 minutes since we both lacked fast typing speed and kept making typing errors that had to be corrected or clarified. However, the video chat took 7 minutes.

All questions were well answered via video chat because seeing each other face to face brought a sense of commitment to the conversation.

Unlike the video chat, the conversation did not get the opportunity to evolve to a point where we are both comfortable and fully engaged hence lacking the relational dimension. According to Bevan (2020), the relational dimension in communication involves the expression of how one feels about the other person or people.

I felt very close to the one on the video chat because the presence of non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, tonal variations, and even body postures, almost equated to his physical presence.

I could feel the distance between us since there was no sure way of telling if the other party was interested in having the conversation. The discussion seemed more of a formality than a genuine concern and interest on the welfare of a former classmate.

Nevertheless, I found video chat more satisfying than phone texting. The video chat allows the transmission of more information, and the responses are instant.

Step 2 – Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, citing at least two-course resources to support you, and one can be a video. (This must be 200 to 250 words.) Due week 5.

Effective communication requires shared meaning. According to Bevan (2020), effective communication relies on a deeper level of understanding where the communicating parties understand the different values, emotions, and beliefs that the other party or parties place on various words and phrases. For example, when I asked my former classmate how she was doing, via the phone text, she replied, “ishish.”. I was not quite sure whether she meant “ishish” in the context she is better than before, or “ishish” in that she has had better days. As I later found out through our conversation, she meant the latter. Had we been using video chat or physical conversation, I would have picked up what she means in her initial reply through the tonal variation and facial expression.

I realized that each of the conversations could have been better if each of us had horned our conversation skills. Strong relationships tend to obscure poor communication through elements such as shared meaning (Headlee, 2015). For example, in the phone chat conversation, my former classmate expected me to know what she meant by the word “ishish.” Maybe that is the word uses with those she is closer to, but for me, I was confused by the meaning of the “word.” The shared meaning which she has with other people with a closer relationship has prevented her from knowing that “ishish” is not a word.

Week 2: Social Support

Step 1 - Describe the findings. (100 to 150 words) – Due week 2

A few years back, I lost a close friend to cancer, and one of my other friends came over to stay with me to offer me emotional support. Emotional support is a type of social behavior where a person expresses empathy, love, care, and trust to the other (Bevan, 2020). She wanted me to tell her how I feel about the loss of my friend. Some of her verbal cues were that she told me it is okay for me to feel bad about the passing of my friend since I was doing my best to try and ignore the pain. Some of her non-verbal included hugging me when I had a complete breakdown. The emotional support was appropriate because the passing of my friend had left me feeling lonely. Her words and actions were what I wanted to hear.

Step 2 - Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, using and citing at least two-course resources to support you and one can be a video. (This must be 200 to 250 words.) Due week 5.

I realized that doing much talking is not necessarily communication, especially where emotional support is concerned. One should make sure to communicate the message with as little words as possible and less time (Bevan, 2020). Such type of communication requires one to be very selfish with their words. It requires one to utter words only when it is necessary because they have a high possibility of aggravating the situation. Instead, one should rely on non-verbal communication such as facial expressions and body posture to show that they empathize with the other person. In emotional support, physical presence is a form of communication on its own, and therefore, just the act of being physically present might be enough.

The importance of being cautious with words applies to all conversations and not necessarily emotional support. According to Headlee (2015), every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument. That means one should have to adopt certain communication principles to prevent them from initiating arguments everywhere they go. One of those principles is to avoid overwhelming the listener with information. Providing too much information can lead to an argument because they have failed to understand the message or only understood part of it.

Week 4: Relationship Equity

Step 1 - Describe the findings. (100 to 150 words) – Due week 4

I used to have a roommate for almost one year during my early days in college. Our arrangement was founded on friendship and the need to share bills because of the cost of living. We had known each other since high school and thought it would be a good idea for us to live together because we had known each other for more than four years. However, two months into the relationship, I would soon start feeling under-benefited because I was footing all the bills. My money was being spent on paying the house bills while my roommate’s funds went to alcohol, dates, and trips with other friends. That relationship made me feel under-embedded.

Step 2 - Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, using and citing at least two-course resources to support you and one can be a video. (This must be 200 to 250 words.) Due week 5.

Looking back at the incident, I noticed that I felt under-benefited because our relationship lacked equity. According to Bevan (2020), equity exists when both partners feel they are putting in and obtaining similar levels of relationship rewards. One party feels like they are not getting enough reward for their effort, then the relationship becomes inequitable. In our case, I did not feel like the effort I was putting into the relationship is similar to the reward I was receiving. I get to foot all the bills, but I would not even get invited to his birthday party celebrations. As explained by Bevan (2020), inequitable relationships are more likely to end, and that was what happened with our friendship.

Regaining equity in an inequitable relationship requires communication. Being actively engaged, present, and focused on the moment (Headlee, 2015). That level of engagement would have allowed us to understand each other’s needs and grievances and find ways to solve them. Both of us came up short in regards to communication, and therefore one party went about thinking he is holding his end of the deal, while the other one (me) felt under-benefited. I realized that my fear of disconnection influenced my hesitation to communicate.

Week 5: Being a Chameleon

Step 1 - Describe the findings. (100 to 150 words) – Due week 5

I challenged myself to speak at a workplace team meeting, which is against my norm. I am usually not a fan of public speaking, and being vocal in a group meeting is something I find uncomfortable. I started by introducing myself and the topics that I intend to cover. These are the workplace norms, and I was following them because it is what is expected of anyone speaking at a group meeting. I felt very nervous and tried my best to keep my anxiety at bay. I was requesting for a change of schedule to allow me to deal with a difficult situation at home. I could see that most of my colleagues empathized with me and agreed to the change in schedule.

Step 2 - Apply what you have learned during this class, especially the basic principles of effective communication, ideas of the self, or culture, to your exercise results, using and citing at least two-course resources to support you, and one can be a video. (This must be 200 to 250 words.) Due week 5.

What I learned is that the fear of disconnection is a universal feeling. According to Brown (2010), the need to feel a connection is something that is ingrained in the human neurobiology. Therefore, my fear of public speaking was driven by my fear of disconnection. The same feeling was present in my work colleagues who empathized with my situation. Although it was unlike me to issue such a public address, they applied emotional intelligence to understand that it was important enough for me to take such a drastic step. On the other hand, had I not changed my communication style to fit the scenario, I would most likely not obtained empathy from my colleagues. However, the change made me feel closer to being a chameleon.

Every situation needs a specific communication style that has the highest chance of obtaining results. As explained by Bevan (2020), being a chameleon requires being self-aware and aware of the surroundings. I was aware that this was a formal conversation that required adherence to formal speech and organization. I had to keep it professional in that as much as I was speaking about an issue with a huge emotional impact, I had to use formal channels to address it. In a normal situation, I would have requested a one on one chat with the group leader, so the decision for me to go out and speak in a group setting was me putting myself in an uncomfortable position.

References

Bevan, J. L. (2020). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication (3rd ed.). https://content.ashford.edu/Brown, B. (2010). The power of vulnerability. TEDx

Houston. Retrieved July 14, 2019, from https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?referrer=playlist-when_you_re_having_a_hard_timeHeadlee, C. (2015, May 7). How to have a good conversation. TEDx – Creative Coast. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6n3iNh4XLI