Weddings are a celebration of commitment and love in addition to celebrating the religion and culture of the couple. One such ceremony that I was not familiar with as a white Christian man was a Hindu wedding ceremony, which I had the privilege to attend at some point. Hindu weddings culturally unite two souls mentally, spiritually, and physically (Mackey and Bose). The marriage ceremony, just like in the Christian setting, is not only a celebration of the unification of two people but rather a merging of two families. Hindu weddings are intricately-planned, vibrant, and rich in culture through their festivities that are full of tradition and celebration. As a guest, attending the function as a member of the wedding party raised my curiosity levels from what I was about to see and learn from the experience. The advantage is, I was not alone, because an intimate Hindu wedding is made up of approximately 150 to 200 guests. Some castes in some Hindu families invite the entire community from their hometowns in addition to the friends and families, increasing the attendance.
To begin with my dressing, I wore traditional Indian clothes like pants and long-sleeved tunics. This caused me to start feeling the experience even before the event officially began. The attire was also marked with some elements of beadwork and embroidery to bring out the lavish and glamorous effect associated with Hindu weddings which creates an unforgettable experience. The events of the wedding, as usual, took place within three days with each day having its undertaking. The wedding events commence with the Ganesh pooja ceremony that takes place on the first day. The event is most intimate and attended by close family members. The sangeet is performed on the second day and is attended by most of the guests. The third day mainly comprises of the main ceremony and reception. The most exhilarating part of the experience was the flow of events and the rituals associated with the Hindu wedding as discussed below.
First, the wedding date is determined by the stars. Before the wedding, a favorable time referred to as the muhurta is fixed for the event (Mackey and Bose). Astrologists then use the couple’s dates of birth to calculate the position of stars and planets to establish a celestial union of the couple. The gotra (ancestor’s original clan) of both couples-to-be (that extends to three generations) is then announced. Marriage will not proceed if the couples-to-be are from the same clan.
Second, a sangeet (Pre-party) is then organized. In this pre-party, the family gathers to dance, sing, and present their joy of the upcoming union. They can give their performances, and the bride’s family can sing a traditional folk song to welcome the groom’s family to theirs. The sangeet, meaning “sung together,” is performed on the same day as the mehndi ceremony that indicates the beginning of the wedding.
During the mehndi ceremony, the bride’s hands and feet are adorned with Henna painting. The Henna is presented in a temporary decorative art and intricate designs. In the process, I learned that the henna indicates various Hindu beliefs with each belief depending on the color of the henna. The henna is presented in floral designs to beautify the bride. Moreover, the groom’s name is also embedded in the design and the groom is left to find it. This was a very intriguing experience as we watch the groom study the intricate design to find his name. It was a measure of the patience of the couple. This mehndi ceremony takes hours and occurs a day before the wedding. Moreover, it is only attended by the bride’s close female friends and family members.
The bride puts on a red dress that is rich in color with beautiful patterns and gold embroidery in the outfit to symbolize fertility and commitment. The groom and his party arrive at the ceremony site with great joy and celebration called baraat. This makes the procession so much fun as it is accompanied by music and dance that the groom’s side always has a great time. They are welcomed with Akshat (a special rice toss), and the groom presented with a garland, and an arati (a plate carrying a lit lamp). The bride’s brothers or uncles lead her to the ceremony and the bride’s father places his daughter’s hands into the groom’s hands as a sign of giving her away.
To make the experience more fascinating, the couple weds under a mandap, which is a temporary structure that is constructed specifically for the marriage ceremony. It is decorated with flowers, fabric, greenery, and crystals among others, and the couple is joined by their parents. A fire is set at the center of the mandap as a witness and offerings made. This makes the Hindu marriage sacred, and not a contract.
Floral garlands are exchanged by the couples during a Jai mala process. The process symbolizes the partners welcoming each other into their families and is considered as a vital step to mark the marriage as complete (Kavya and Pavan). A necklace of black and gold is placed on the bride by the groom through a Mangala sutra process that invokes wealth, prosperity, and fortune to her marriage. The bride and groom’s garments are then tied together as they circle a fire in a process called Saptapadi to establish a friendship that is regarded as the basis of a Hindu marriage.
Foods also played a vital role in the ceremony. Rice represented sustenance and the guests including me were invited to the mandap to throw sprinklings of turmeric-colored rice as a blessing. While the ceremony was rooted in spiritual beliefs, there were moments of humor and included games. The most favorite part was when the newlyweds competed to see who would throw the most rice over the other’s head as a sign of the dominant person in the relationship. It made me recall the polarizing western custom where the newlyweds smashed cake on each other’s face.
The ceremony was not complete without loads and loads of scrumptious food. These include foods like dal makhani, butter chicken, Amritsari paneer tikka, jalebi, shahi paneer, gulab jamun, pineapple raita, mutton biryani, malpua, and golgappa bhel puri among others (Mackey and Bose). it was an awesome experiencing taking on cuisines that the western parts are not very much conversant with.
From this experience, I learned a lot of things concerning the Hindu culture that I was not initially aware of. I learned that those attending Hindu weddings are heavily encouraged to put on bold, and vibrant colors but to stay away from white (associates with funerals), black (perceived as unlucky), and red (the bride’s color); there is no alcohol at the Hindu wedding ceremony since it is impacted by many religious customs and traditions, and gifts are in most cases not brought to the ceremony (Kavya and Pavan). I also learned the various rituals that are performed in a Hindu wedding such as the muhurta, sangeet, mehndi, baraat, and Jai mala among others.
To conclude, it goes beyond a reasonable doubt that the cultures of a Hindu wedding are exhilarating, lively, and beautiful. It is fascinating that so much time, detail, and commitment go into making the couple feel loved and supported every step of the way. While the love and support for the couple may be common across various cultures during their special day, the Indians are unique in their way.
Works Cited
Kavya, CN., and Pavan, Kumar. A sociological study on religious aspects in the Hindu marriage system. International Journal of Applied Research, 2015. www.allresearchjournal.com/archives/2015/vol1issue13/PartH/1-13-67.pdf
Mackey, Jaimie, and Bose, Sharbari. 15 Hindu wedding ceremony traditions you need to know. Brides.com, 2020. www.brides.com/hindu-wedding-ceremony-rituals-traditions-4795869
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