Type of paper: | Essay |
Categories: | Literature Writers |
Pages: | 6 |
Wordcount: | 1429 words |
It was not until Amy Chua published her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” in 2011, that the term ‘Tiger Parenting’ came into existence. Other than just being a Yale Law professor, Chua is a mother of two daughters. In her book, she writes of her Chinese heritage, explaining how it has played a vital role in her parenting decisions. She states how her daughters are not allowed to play computer games, watch TV, get any other grade other than an A, or go for sleepovers. Chua attributes her daughter’s success in school to her stick policies (Chua). Many people have reacted to Chua’s book with varying views. Those supported her belief that Chua’s parenting methods are justified since her daughters are going exemplary well in musical and academics.
On the other hand, her critics believe that her parenting style may not bring about optimal developmental outcomes. The evidence Chua presents in her book are her own opinion and not based on any scientific reason. This paper criticizes Chua’s point of view and supports that the western parenting style produces happier and more productive individuals than "tiger parenting."
Unlike western parenting, ‘tiger parenting’ does not produce happy children. When a "tiger parent raises a child," he/she develops tendencies towards depression and anger. The strict environment makes a child develop a sense that part of him/her is not accepted. Children raised by authoritarian parents believe that their parents are not there to offer help on managing and coping with their difficult situations driving them to act out. Such children are left lonely and forced to sort for themselves ways to overcomes the lesser impulses.
“Tiger parents” make their children learn that the only right way is to use power and force. Being raised in a strict home deprives the child’s happiness. While such children may learn to be obedient, they would, however, not think for themselves. A person who was brought up by strict parents may as well not be responsible when he/she grow up. Such a person would find it difficult to question authority when he/she is supposed to. There are minimum chances that such a person might take responsibility for their actions and prefer dodging responsibilities and following peer groups.
Most children raised by ‘tiger parents’ are often more rebellious than those brought up in a western parenting home. Moreover, as teenagers and young adults, individuals whose parents were strict tend to also be angrier. Virtually everyone is raised under some degree of harshness. Therefore, depending on the degree of harshness each person was raised under, everyone chafes at control even when they are the ones who impose it. There are times when this shows up to people as resentfulness and anger at any perceived criticism or limit. At times, people may overreact when they imagine somebody is instructing them on what they should do. In other instances, this may come as a rebellion against the limit somebody imposes on him/herself. For example, a person might harshly starve him/herself with a new diet then chose to rebel through binging.
Tiger mothers often undermine the parent-child relationship. Such mothers may believe that her child is happy and responsible because these children will also do the right thing only in their parents' presence. However, in the absence of a parent, the child often gets his/herself into more trouble. Moreover, these children also learn to be excellent liars. A parent who relates punitively often cuts off the natural empathy he/she has with his/her child. That eventually makes the relationship between a child and his/her parent to be less satisfying. Tiger parents are likely to find parenting roles difficult since their children have lost interest in them and are not easy to manage. Therefore, strict parenting not only deprives children of their happiness and makes them less productive, but it also makes for unhappy mothers and fathers. Additionally, children will constantly fight with their parents and might always carry a chip on their shoulders. As the child starts getting older, he/she goes looking for love in the wrong places.
Unlike the western parenting style, tiger parents deprive children of an opportunity to internalize their responsibilities and self-discipline. Strict parents may not understand that the harsh limits they impose only temporarily control their children's behavior. In the long run, these harsh limits make a child loses his/her self-regulation. The effects of these harsh limits on a child are that they trigger some resistance for them to take responsibility for him/herself. The most valuable tool for children is self-discipline, which cannot develop in harsh limits but rather from the internalization of loving limits. Like adults, children also do not like it when they are being controlled. Therefore, it is not surprising that a child might not accept limits that he/she finds non-empathic.
Tiger parenting also deprives children of their happiness because it is based on fear. As a result, children brought up by controlling parents tend to be less expressive and open compared to their peers. The controlling environment children are exposed to makes them feel scared to express what they feel and might be uptight when there is a social gathering because they fear they would do or say a wrong thing. In the long run, a child's self-esteem is affected.
When a child continuously experiences nagging, he/she might feel as if his/her parent will hold the card to his/her future throughout. If such a person needs anything in his/her life, he/she would always look to his/her parents to make decisions for them. That then makes children appear as if they only have a passive role in their own life. Tiger parenting, therefore, does not make children responsible, and they will always be unhappy.
While the western parenting style makes children feel good enough, tiger parenting has an exactly opposite effect. When children are brought up in a strict environment, they are likely to develop certain inferior complexity, and they might feel as though they are not good enough. These inferior complexes make an individual believe his/her feelings do not matter to anyone. An inferior child would be less participative while in school and might be more aloof when he/she is around people. Being a tiger parent therefore affects the success of a child and might be harmful at the end.
Children find it difficult to confide in their harsh parents. That is because they are frightened that their strict parents would judge them. A child may feel as though his/her parent might get angry if he/she says s/he did something at school. The child may also believe that by saying anything, his/her parents might accuse him/her of being the one on the wrong. The Tiger parenting style, therefore, breaks communication between children and their parents.
Children who have grown up in fear are tremendously affected in their mental state. Such individuals often find it difficult and are scared to take risks and try new things. Moreover, it may also be hard for a child raised by trigger parents to tell the truth about him/herself as they fear they might not be on the same page with the person they ought to open up to. Western parenting style, however, creates rooms for children to discover themselves without being controlled easily. Therefore, the sense of control in the tiger parenting style deprives children of their happiness, unlike the western parenting style, where children are not restricted to what to do.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that the argument Amy Chua presents in her book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” goes against the many years of research work on what makes children both happy ad successful. Her beliefs rest on a very faulty premise. She narrowly defines perfection and achievement. According to Chua, success at school is only when a student gets straight As. Such a narrow focus on success would result in wildly unhappy people. They might boast their perfect reports, but there might as well be high cases of depression as well as suicides in universities. Being a tiger parent does not create happiness in children. Instead, it sabotages all the positive people do as parents while at the same time, handicaps children in their efforts to develop self-discipline.
Work Cited
Chua, Amy. Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother. Penguin Audio, 2011.
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