Permissive parenting is one of the parenting styles where parents set few regulations for their children. This kind of parenting style involves a parent providing almost everything to the child but he/she places little limitations to the child with the aim of not making the child angry. As Winston et al. (2015) state, most parents in fear of not upsetting the child find themselves in a situation where they make choices based on the childs desires and not as a parent. As research has shown, children with permissive parents do not have mature behaviors even when they grow up because the role of a parent has been neglected and they are made to believe that they can do what they desire because there is not limitation. However, this is not the right parenting styles because it leaves children with immature behavior even after they have grown up. This paper will examine the concept of permissive parenting and its effects on the lives of children and to the society as a whole.
Research has shown that most children who are raised through the permissive parenting style struggle with self-control issue when they grow up because they cannot set self-regulations for themselves (Dosler, 2015). Sometimes, the permissive parenting style is also referred to as the indulgent parenting style. Research indicates that parents using the permissive parenting style are most likely to reduce regulations on their children; however, they tend to provide everything that a child may desire or want. Some of the key features associated with the permissive parents include; they have few rules set for the kids (Rafla et al., 2014). However, in circumstances where they set rules, they are mostly inconsistent in following the rules. Also, they tend to love and be nurturing towards the kid. Mostly, they use entices such as gifts and toys to please their children especially when they think that they have made the child angry.
There has been a conflicting argument whether permissive parenting is best for the childs life of not. As a result, various arguments have been raised, some arguing contrary to the topic while arguing in support of the issue of permissive parenting. Opponents of the argument claim that permissive parenting is one of the major styles of parenting that affects the lives of the kids when they grow up because they cannot mature from their childhood behaviors (Abu Bakar et al., 2015). Research has shown that children with permissive parents are most likely to develop difficulties in their studies and schooling in general because they are more engaged in irrelevant things other than their education. Research has shown that approximately 4000 families in the US are using the permissive parenting style (Abu Bakar et al., 2015). Further, children from such permissive parenthood are more likely to associate in self-destructive activities. For instance, they engage in drug or alcohol abuse and early sexual relationships (Dosler, 2015).
The proponents of permissive parenting style argue that children who are raised through such parenting style are associated with considerable academic achievements because they receive the attention of parents (Epkins & Shannon, 2016). To some extent, this statement might be true because strictness in parenthood can negatively impact the childs academic performance. Strict parents normally have a poor relationship with their kids. Thus, their children cannot approach them even when they have a problem or for consultation. In countries like Spain, permissive parenting is one of the most parenting styles that are considered useful in enhancing the childs academic achievement (Winston et al., 2015). Permissive parenting is associated with the good social relationship between the child and the parent. Psychologists have always argued that the relationship between the parent and the kid can affect the academic performance of the child. To some extent, I disagree with the statement that permissive parenting can improve the academic performance of a child because people are guided by rules and we cannot live without the rules. In a situation where a parent wants to provide everything for the child and sets no limit for the child, it would be difficult to control such child when he/she grows up (Dosler, 2015). Additionally, even in schools, there are rules to be followed; therefore, children who are not used to rules may find it difficult to stay in school because someone cannot claim that such children may change in school.
Children who are raised under permissive parenthood are most likely to find themselves in disciplinary committees in schools because they are not used to following rules. Therefore, everything must be guided by rules because the rules define the limit where someone should or not cross. The rules also help in setting self-regulations that can assist the child to realize what is wrong and right to do. Too much authority as a parent may be harmful to the childs development because the social relationship between the parent and the child can be realized when both the child and the parent are in good terms with each other (Rafla et al., 2014). However, we are not saying that creating a good social relationship is all about being too good to the child. There must be a limit set, and a line is drawn that can distinguish the parent and a friend to the child. Permissive parenting is more like a friend than a parent. The two must be balanced effectively, little of authority and little of permissiveness. Thus, the child can grow under rules that can help them in their future lives (Dosler, 2015). The life of a child is not all about providing for them anything they may desire because even if it is so, it might be impossible to provide everything that a child may want. Also, children especially when are at the adolescent stage, they are most likely to be influenced by their surroundings, peers and even the things they associate with. Additionally, children in the modern society have become so stubborn such that they do not listen to anyone because they think that they know it all (Rafla et al., 2014). With the technological advancement, parenthood has become a challenge especially in setting regulations for children (Rafla et al., 2014). Parents believe that if they deny their children what they want, they will get upset with them. This is wrong, and it is the time that the truth is told. Soothing a child and responding to every demand they make is not the best way to making that child love or like you because if he/she is used to doing anything he/she feels or desire, it will reach a time when he/she starts to violate the orders of the parents. Every parent would wish to raise a child who is self-principled and self-regulated; however, such kind of dream can only be realized when there are rules to be followed that guide them on what they should and not do.
Psychologists have argued that children grow to become who they are raised to be. Additionally, it is hard to change a behavior when someone has grown. A child is taught how to make right choices when he/she is still young because he/she will grow up knowing that there are things he/she is supposed or not supposed to do (Winston et al., 2015). Training a child to grow up with set rules that are not too strict and authoritative is most likely to help the child cope with challenges in life. being too authoritative as a parent may impact the child negatively because if the child is denied almost everything that he/she may need to learn while growing up, it might be difficult to control such a child when he/she grows up because he/she will develop the curiosity to try whatever he/she was denied while a child (Epkins & Shannon, 2016). At this point, it might be difficult to control the behavior, therefore, it better to control it while there is still adequate chance to do so. Also, staying too far from the child is not suitable for the developmental stages of the childs life because every child needs a parent or a guardian to show them the right path to follow (Epkins & Shannon, 2016). Most parents are too strict such that there has been a rift created between the child and the parent. This is not the best way to becoming a good parent. There must be involvement between the child and the parent; however, the relationship should be determined by a set and fair rules.
In conclusion, I believe that being a parent is all about understanding the child and doing what is best for the life of that child. A good parent knows that too much freedom for the child may be harmful to him/her especially when the child grows up. Everyone would want to stay in a society where respect is above everything. The younger generation has a significant problem with the issue of respect because they have parents who are permissive; therefore, they are free to do anything they desire. I believe that if we take this direction, then we might lose our children because even us as parents they will not listen to us since they are used to listening to no one. Therefore, too much authority is harmful and too much freedom is as well poisonous to the life of a child. Parents should set a limit to what a child should or not do so as to create a society where ethics and morals are an important part of our childrens lives.
Abu Bakar, Siti Hajar, Haris Abd Wahab, and M. Rezaul Islam. "Parental attachment for at-risk children's antisocial behaviour: A case of Malaysia."Child Care in Practice (2015): 1-18.
Dosler, Anita Jug. "Raising Children for a Healthy Sexual Relationship in Adulthood." (2015).
Epkins, Catherine C., and Shannon L. Harper. "Mothers and Fathers Parental Warmth, Hostility/Rejection/Neglect, and Behavioral Control: Specific and Unique Relations with Parents Depression Versus Anxiety Symptoms." Parenting 16.2 (2016): 125-145.
Flurry, Laura A., and Krist Swimberghe. "Consumer Ethics of Adolescents."Journal of Marketing Theory and Practice 24.1 (2016): 91-108.
Rafla, Malak, Nicholas J. Carson, and Sandra M. DeJong. "Adolescents and the internet: what mental health clinicians need to know." Current psychiatry reports 16.9 (2014): 1-10.
Winston, Flaura K., Kristina Puzino, and Daniel Romer. "Precision prevention: time to move beyond universal interventions." Injury prevention(2015): injuryprev-2015.
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