|Type of paper:||Essay|
|Categories:||Parenting Relationship Childhood Interpersonal communication|
The relationship between parents and children is among fundamental interactions. My mother's relationship and it is a special connection. Similarly to other relationships, my relationship with mom has some challenges despite which, our bond is unique and different from other mother-daughter relationship. Not only is she my mother but she is also my best friend with whom I am confident with my secrets, she gives me a shoulder to cry on, and she listens to me better than anyone else. We spend proper time together with sense when it is time to forgive and leave behind the past. My mother and I try to maintain our versions, not having to change or compromising with situations. During conflicts, my mother is the best in amicably settling down any dispute that arises. Both of us fully support the growth and maintenance of the relationship. I am motivated to write about my mother because she is my closest confidant, and it's from my mother, where I find joy in spending quality time with each other. By blood, she is my mother, and she happens to be my closest friend and sister at heart. My mother plays a role in molding my strengths' and weaknesses. She criticizes, inspires, and comforts me in times of failure. Instincts of love, perpetuation, and protection are the pillars in our relationship. In this essay, I will examine the association between my mother and me by discussing some issues concerning our relationship.
I remember a few weeks after joining college, during a weekend, as it was my routine to come home every weekend. On arrival home, I opened the door and heard my mother's pleasing optimistic voice right from her sleeping quarters." Hello", her lovely greeting from a distance, brought to me smiles, and broke me into tears of joy. I could hear her hurriedly walking with to where I was. My mother looked at me directly in my eyes, held me in her arms with joy and laughter on her face, and gave me a warm hug moving her hands uncontrollably around my body. After seeing my mother after a while, I cried happily since I had missed her more than she could imagine until she found herself in tears too. I put my bags down, held her tightly, smelled her lovely perfume on her clothes started narrating to her stories about my college. For my first time, I opened and honestly explained to mom the feelings I had within me since we last met. I expounded to mom how unhappy I have been by been for from her (Armfield & Morgan, 2011). I also gave her the elaborate story on my classwork, my new met friends, and how held up I could be to the extent of having less time on my issues. Again I made it clear to the mom of how life was tough. I have been away with only a telephone call remaining as the only option we could be in touch for any help that I needed. Later mom held me close to her chest, patting my back, and encouraged me that all could be okay despite her gloomy face after realizing I had lost some weight.
According to Armfield and Morgan (2011), Human Communication in Action gives learners valuable resources that can be utilized beyond the classroom by getting together prominent innovative scholars of communication as the contributors of human communication skills. Therefore, to understand a proper understanding of human communication, we must learn how to communicate well and practice almost daily communication skills. Human communications rely mainly on the phenomenon of individual communication. There are several types of communication, which include interpersonal, cross-cultural, and intrapersonal communication (Armfield & Morgan, 2011). The critical factor for effective communication between students and teachers or any other human being is how well to communicate with others effectively in our lives. Also, as we talk to people who are from a different culture with us, we should learn and adopt the best communication skills that we can use to communicate efficiently with them. In a mother-child relationship, we have different stages of relationship development between the mother and the child. A mother will always be concerned about her children's welfare, for instance, if he/she had enough for her stomach and taking good care of themselves. At this point in my relationship with mom from the "stages of an intimate relationship," our relationship was at the intimate stage. This stage is an association between two individuals that is characterized by both physical and emotional togetherness (Armfield & Morgan, 2011). It can involve a sexual relationship, for example, fiance and fiancee relationship. Also, it can be a relationship that does not include sex, especially among family members like mother-daughter relationships or friends. My mom and I are in an intimate relationship since its clear in our interactions showing openness, care, trust, responsiveness, mutuality, and above all, commitment after coming home from college. For instance, opening up to mom on my feelings after being away, telling her on my workload and new lifestyles to accommodate my new position, sharing feelings until we both cried together. I also shared with the mom of how lonely I could feel and how college life had been rough without her presence, the only option to get her help been via a phone call.
In relationships, communication is governed by communication behaviors. Hence, the most crucial aspect of having an excellent strong basis to communicate and build a strong relationship with other people is not to be afraid of displaying emotion, therefore, determining the root cause of the challenge and handling the dispute accordingly. If a person hides emotions as he communicates with others, it becomes very hard for fundamental friends whom you intend to build a relationship with to understand your moods and how you are genuinely feeling (Armfield & Morgan, 2011). This involves people's different ways to express feelings, needs, and thoughts using indirect messages or else non-verbal communication, i.e., communication without using the words of mouth but rather actions. My mom and I intimate stage is made up of several communication behaviors. First and foremost includes frequent complaints from me of how much I had missed her, the much college life was all a mess since the only way I could reach her for help was via telephone, limiting the kind of help she could offer and that I could wish to be close to her all time. Secondly, we have the non-verbal behaviors, for example, the voice. After coming home, I heard my mother's pleasing optimistic voice. We also have gestures like direct look in the eyes from mom when I come back, smiles and tears flowing down my mother cheeks after seeing me, cry from happiness of seeing her again, mom hurriedly walking to my destination, mom holding me close to her chest and patting my back with words of encouragements of how bright tomorrow will be glorious (Armfield & Morgan, 2011). Thirdly we have facial expressions which included, unhappy face since I and missed her after been away for long, smiles on my mother's face after receiving me back home, gloomy face after she realized I had lost weight. Last but not least, among the communication behaviors illustrated, mom also gave me a warm hug having her hands moving uncontrollably all over my body.
The interaction between mom and me is based on the connectedness-autonomy dialectic to help in discussing the truths, ideas, and opinions in our relationship. This dialectic is about personal desire to be together with someone but remain apart or else be able to personally govern their life or carry out duties expected of you at the required time, with no much dependency but at the same time, you need to connect bringing in a tension to manage the relationship (Armfield & Morgan, 2011). Some ways set to manage dialectical tensions are denial, disorientation, segmentation, alteration, reaffirmation, recalibration, and balance, just but a few. My relationship with my mother is in a tension of autonomy, or else I need to be independent and connectedness or want to remain connected. This is because I have to be in school to learn independently, but again I seriously need her being with me close for in school. I am very lonely, and life away from mom is very rough because I feel no help. I can get away from mom. The pole that works best in our case is the reaffirmation strategy, which involves accepting non-reconciling ends or having a positive mind that all will be well soon after my college studies just as mom told me (Armfield & Morgan, 2011). Through the use of the reaffirmation pole, we can handle this tension since I understand that it's just for a while. This pole is essential since it gives us room to realize that after my college studies, we will be connected and live together with mom for the time to live away from each other will have ended.
In conclusion, after understanding that after college studies I will again live with my mother for a more extended period, I shall no longer experience loneliness, and I will always get her help when I need it, our relationship grew stronger, and I was able to focus on my studies. I am happy because our bond will be stronger for the time to come. It's my great hope and prayer that my children can have this kind of relationship I had with my mother. Life could never be any convincing and worthy sacrificing for without my mother by my side. I am now a great person because of my mother's efforts, who helped and emotionally supported me since the beginning of my college studies today. She will remain my closest friend, and I will love and appreciate her during all times, good or bad. She is my mother by blood, the best friend, and a sister at heart.
Armfield, G.G. & Morgan, E.L. (2011). Human Communication in action (7th ed.). Dubuque, IA: Kendall, Hunt. NOTE: 6th Edition.
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