Type of paper:Â | Book review |
Categories:Â | Creative writing Depression Mental disorder Emotional intelligence |
Pages: | 5 |
Wordcount: | 1108 words |
Living with Jarrett's family was routinely excellent for me, with a lot of quiet times, a peaceful home, and a lovely ordinary family living together. These were the better times for this family; everybody had a smile on their faces almost every day with each person offering assistance to one another and working as one time in the family. After the storm tragedy that took Jordan Jarett; Conrad's brother and Beth and Calvin's son, the atmosphere in the house changed to be melancholic accompanied by stress and depression.
I witnessed Conrad, try to commit suicide, proving my understanding of his feelings at this point beyond doubt. Observing this act made me contemplate how people take for granted that life is overrated. I witnessed all of Conrad's nightmare episodes at night and going through a rollercoaster of emotions without support from his family. And the situations prove to be depressing and frustrating for the young man trying to endure the hard times and neglect of his parents.
Similarly, Conrad's condition spilt over to his family; causing a mother-son misunderstanding. Due to the inner violence of his mother due to the inside, I saw both of them growing far apart from each other. Additionally, the conflict between the mother and the son felt cold and numb based on their conversations, along with family compromises and functioning together. The house felt lonely and sad while observing a mother-to-son bond breaking due to mental illness.
The same case was happening with Beth and Calvin as they were growing apart every day, and it was affecting Calvin's daily functioning at home. All of Calvin's and Beth's arguments at home felt heartbreaking and hateful when I was observing the two exchange bitter words concerning the status of their family.
The razor-blade's 1st point of view
Lying on a cold bathroom sink became helpful to me as it helped in numbing my feelings due to the mood and the atmosphere in the house. I developed a hunch that something deadly was on its way. The feeling became more intense and dreadful after the day of observing Conrad's situation. The boy appeared to be helpless and lost in sad feelings that seemed to be eating him from the soul. After a while, Conrad came home one afternoon angry, despiteful and pick me up from the sink-top. His fingers were cold and looking through his eyes, and I could see an endless dark pit. And I could see his soul falling into the hole while trying to grab onto something, like a person not wanting to go into the hole. He had the face of a hopeless person crying for help to get out. A face of a person wanting something else or being somewhere else than being in this situation.
At this point, I realized what was about to go down; Conrad wanted to commit suicide. After a long press between my body, a warm liquid started splashing onto me, oh my god there was blood everywhere. Wanting everything to stop, I closed my eyes helplessly, hoping that the situation ends. And what Conrad was doing was against my belief in solving issues, especially mental problems. Conrad cut both of his arms using the razor blades and felt sat on the cold bathroom floor to continue bleeding until he dies. Afterward, Conrad appeared to be satisfied after cutting himself using the blade. He gently placed me on the cold floor filled with a pool of blood.
Conrad's Bed 1st point of view
Before Jonathan died, Conrad used to be peaceful, happy and an obedient boy and always tidy with his room. I would see Conrad light up the place with music, cool wall paintings and pictures for his favorite sport. Most of the time, Conrad used to hang out with his beloved friend Joe Lazenby who from what I heard were driving together to school regularly. They were close friend according to his conversations with his parents.
After Conrad being admitted to a mental hospital, the mood at home change quickly. My peaceful night disappeared when Conrad came back from the psychiatrical hospital. His everyday nightmare scared me a lot as he could scream "make it Stop!" And based on Conrad's conversations with his father about visiting a psychiatrist in town, a clear understanding came to me on his status. Conrad regularly tossed and turned in bed every night while panting and sweating a lot. His sweat felt like a combination of terror and fear incorporated with despair and anxiousness. His body would become very hot at night, warming me to the point of surprise whether he is sick or not.
Seeing Conrad undergoing this situation alone makes me worried about his future endeavors that might entail attempting to take his own life. This thought bombarded my mind after comprehending that his relationship with his mother worsen and they grew apart. Most time, Conrad isolated himself in his room, gazing at nothing and a lot of thought running through his mind.
Dr. Berger's Office 1st Point of View
Seeing Conrad for the first time, proved to help in analyzing his thoughts and feelings. Conrad, for the first Instance, appeared nervous, anxious and uneasy while entering the office. I have seen his look in several patients visiting Dr Berger for the first time. However, Conrad appeared to be having an overshadowed positivity in his recovery under his disturbed, twisted and mentally affected thoughts. I being a spectator in these psychiatric sessions, Conrad first started as being rigid, unwelcoming and cold. After learning from past experiences, Conrad learned to become cold, insensitive, and unappealing to people as a way of avoiding them.
I often noticed the persistence of Dr. Berger in unlocking Conrad to help him in recovering and become better. The same way I saw a lot of resistance from Conrad, Dr Berger noticed the same, and due to his persistence, some information started trickling in, the more the sessions began moving forward. After Conrad revealed his mental disturbance, I realized that lack of support, motivation, and counseling made him go down the suicide path. None of his family members dedicated their time to grieving their lost member. And lack of laying out these emotions turned into negative thoughts for Conrad, who experienced his brother's death. In his theory, based on the sessions with Dr Berger, Conrad was looking for a way of grieving his brother while seeking closure. His mind revealed that death is the only way of getting closure for his brother's death. I felt from Conrad's talks that his mind resorted to death as closure; they were both supposed to die; hence committing suicide is a fulfillment.
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