Domestic Violence in the Book "I Am Not Your Victim" by Beth Sipe

Introduction

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Several women globally have been complaining about domestic violence. For example, Beth writes a book to explain how she was mistreated by her husband over their 16 years of marriage. The woman states that she got married to her second husband after leaving John who was her first husband after conceiving one child. She then got married to Sam whom she lived with over the 16 years. Over, the years Beth describes different kind of physical and psychological torture that she went through during her marriage. Therefore, this work will focus on the reflection of Beth's story as indicated in her book and an analysis of the main theme which is domestic violence.

Question 1

Beth's story about domestic violence is true. Beth claims that most women suffer because of financial problems. Sam forced Beth to marry her after they had their first baby claiming that she was financially unstable to support two kids. He financial situation forced to marry a man she never loved. Her husband was a drugs addict who was ever high on marijuana and cigarettes. He was always battering her Beth after getting drunk with alcohol and high with marijuana. More so, when Sam was away, he partied without sending any money to her wife. Beth suffered because of the financial problem she was facing when her husband was away. Her husband never supported Beth and her child financially irrespective of being pregnant. As a result, she suffered malnutrition because of eating the same meals daily. Hence, I support that Beth's story is true.

I believe that drugs addiction is what caused all the problems that the couple was facing. Beth was an addict before she was even married. Similarly, Sam was using drugs. More so, their problems occurred mostly after taking the drugs. Therefore, I would suggest that the couple should not engage in drugs because that is the major cause of their problems. Also, the couple should love each other and respect each other in the marriage. Sam did not care about Beth may be because there was no love between them. Hence, there should be love, respect, and no use of drugs in a better relationship.

There are several ways of solving domestic violence. First, the victims should choose wisely the person to marry. For instance, Beth did not choose the right person whom she intended to marry. Sam was a drug addict and abusive both to his friends and his wife irrespective of the fact that she was pregnant. Another way of solving domestic violence is through seeking support from legal institutions and friends. Beth was supposed to sue Sam for the domestic violence she was undergoing. Moreover, Beth ought to have consulted her friends before deciding to marry Sam. She could have been given enough advice that would have helped her in solving the problems. I would suggest that Sam should think about her children before advancing on her wife. Sam continuously made her wife suffer by torturing her and not supporting her financially even though she was pregnant. Finally, the victim should plan on how to leave her frustrating relationship and seek an alternative and better relationship.

Question 2

Beth's responses to violence were shaped by the culture in that she did not have a say in the house because she came from unfortunate family. Sam was from a fortunate family which is the reason had much power over her wife since she supported her financially. More so, Beth went to the hospital for a checkup that transformed her response to the domestic violence. The doctor realized that Sam had anal sex with her wife after seeing some evidence from her. The medical examination helped her in determining the right way of dealing with her sexual abuse. Also, Beth's response changed after interacting with the military, especially after attending the burial of her friend who died in the Vietnam war. The incidence changed her perception regarding the life of soldiers. Finally, Beth regards criminal justice as biased after the court failed to help her in solving the problems she was facing. More so, she was afraid to report her cases to the police because she was afraid that Sam could kill her. Beth regarded Sam to be powerful because he came from a rich family and would have influence over the court proceedings.

Question 3

Beth's inner strength from the suffering she was facing from the hands of her husband is evidence in several instances from the book. First, after realizing that her husband had stopped supporting her financially to the extent that she suffered malnutrition, she decided to find a job. The author narrates that she found a job and rented a house for $400 a month where he lived with his children after leaving the first house to her husband. Also, she explains that she found peace and freedom after renting the house because she no longer lived with her battering husband. Another instance is seen from the way she copped up with the way Sam mistreated her sexually. In most cases, Sam demanded oral and anal sex which she never liked. However, she allowed her husband to do his will just to retain their marriage. The narrator explains that sometimes she could vomit during the act, but Sam could not understand.

Also, she never reported to the police on how she was being battered. Beth describes how Sam battered her severally by kicking her ribs and breaking her nose with blows. Sam did not care that she was a weak due to pregnancy. She wondered whether Sam wanted the baby to be born because it seems that he was not concerned about her health and that of the unborn baby. Maybe she never reported the cases to the police because she never trusted the corrupt criminal justice and was afraid that Sam could kill her if she takes the cases to the court.

Question 4

In most cases, the victims are afraid to report their cases to the court. However, there is a need for a better case management service delivery that will help the victims out of the problem. The implication of the service delivery is that there will be a reduction in the size of domestic violence cases. Most cases of domestic violence are never reported which encourager the perpetrators to continue with the act. Hence, implementing an effective service delivery will aid in reducing the number of domestic violence cases significantly.

As a case manager for Beth, I would use several interventions to help her. First, I would advice Beth and Sam to discuss their case of sexual abuse. Sam forced Beth to have sex with him even when she had not fully recovered after giving birth. More so, he forced her with oral sex which she was not comfortable with. Therefore, I will advise the two to have an agreement on the right time for engaging in an intimate relationship. Another, way in which I would help her is through encouraging her not to be afraid to report when Sam battered her. The narrator explains that Sam was very violent even to his friends. In most cases, he would engage in fights with his friends, especially in clubs after taking alcohol. Moreover, he was violent when stressed up. For instance, after his brother's death in a lift, Sam was very depressed and always scared Beth through threats. Therefore, I would advise Beth not to be afraid to report the cases to the police at the time she was experiencing them. Finally, Sam took advantage of financial problems that Beth was undergoing. Sam was the bread winner in the house. However, he only supported Beth when he was around. However, he rarely supported he financially when he was away from home. The narrator explains that she even suffered from malnutrition because she could never afford a better diet. Hence, in such a situation, I would advice Beth to report the issue so that she could be helped.

Conclusion

To sum up, there are several cases of domestic violence daily. However, only a few of them are reported. Most couples prefer keeping the cases secret because they do not want to damage their reputation. The situation is evident in the book " I Am Not Your Victim" By Beth Sipe. Beth describes how she was mistreated daily by her husband because of her financial situation. She never had enough money to support her kind and was afraid that she would lose the children to Sam who was financially stable. Therefore, she was forced to stay with the man whom she never loved. I would suggest that people should not be afraid to report such cases because of the problems which they are afraid may rise. Reporting the cases will help in solving the cases of domestic violence.

Work Cited

Beth, Sipe, and J. Hall Evelyn. I Am Not Your Victim: Anatomy of Domestic Violence. 2nd ed., 2018