Essay Sample on Family of Origin Paper

A person's character is determined by many aspects, some of which are inborn or others are imposed on them by the environment, they grow up in. An example of such is when a child is brought up in a family where a submissive wife is beaten by her husband yet still stays in the relationship. The child may grow up thinking that it is okay for a man to beat his wife whenever she goes wrong. If the child is a girl, they may also believe that women are not entitled to human rights, and that they are supposed to be treated with the lowest form of dignity. The family where one grew up in is a significant determinant of what a person is. Those close to them also mold the behavior of the child in their tender ages. This paper is an explanation of the effect that family has on me and what ways I can use my previous experiences to improve my current situation. I am divorced and have two children while my parents are still married and live a normal life based on the standards of other individuals.

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Father and Mother

My father owns a shop that deals with cars, and he took care of my four sisters and three brothers. They are loving and caring, considering that they took care of my siblings and me without neglect. It also shows that they are responsible and agreed to carry the burden of raising children until I am mature and can have children of my own now. They are also perseverant in the relationship and love each other a lot. This can be explained in their marriage and the way that they maintain it. It is rare to see a couple that has grown to see their children and grandchildren while they are still together.

Parents Relationship

Looking at the relationship that my parents have, I have been impacted significantly by their behavior and character traits. To begin with, I have learned to accept responsibility. Since my parents took it as one of their primary goals to bring us up in the best manner possible, I have become used to the fact that I am supposed to do the same to my children no matter how hard it may seem for me.

It also causes me pain to know that I could not maintain my marriage as they did with theirs. I would have loved to see my husband, but I am already divorced and have not even been to a long term like they have. My parents are very open with each other and discuss their problems openly whenever they have them. They also assist each other in solving some of the situations they may be faced with. My parents are also forgiving, and they always find a means to resolve the conflicts that they have with each other. My mother tells me that this is one of the critical aspects that guide a marriage.

Childhood Years

Mine was a normal childhood with both parents around ready to look up my every move. They always had a way to bring in new lessons and coach one about good behavior. I was an average performer at school, and this earned me a good portion of their love. Some of my siblings did not do very well in class. My teenage years were also average, with a few scandals, but they all went away with time. I was brought up as a staunch Christian of the LDS church. In my younger age, I was always forced to go to church with my parents, and every time I was home from high school, my parents asked me if I was still willing to go to church with them.

Positive Areas

I always admired the unity that my parents exhibited. I do not recall a moment when they argued or disagreed before us. They always had the means to hide their differences from us. It was not until I was mature enough to note that I realized that they also argued sometimes. They discussed their disagreements in private and always brought their successes to share with us. They did not want any of the young ones to notice them arguing. They always forgave each other in case they committed a mistake. This aspect makes my parents a major hallmark in my life.

They also assisted each other every time that they had issues. Their contributions made life more bearable for all of us. It was especially evident in the way they shared duties. They would divide out their salaries to ensure that they gave each of the children their needs.

Areas I would Change

My father was the overall head of the family. In many instances, his idea was to be followed by all in the family. This is a very chauvinistic way to organize a family. It also meant that he took most of the responsibility in the family. While my mother's rile was to give us shopping and pocket money for school, he was to pay all the fees for the children. It was unfair that he had a bigger, yet they were both parents, and they were all supposed to be equal. I would encourage a marriage where both the husband and the wife have a fair amount of power in the household. They should consult each other and ensure that they are both comfortable with the idea.

My Dream

I would like a family that is full of love from both the wife and the husband. Besides, I would love one where both the wife and the husband have equal responsibility. Not one where one spouse is given more privileges or responsibilities than the other. From my parent's side, I would like one where all partners are forgiving like my parents are. In such a relationship, I would hold on, unlike my previous relationship.