Essay Sample on Caring for a Loved One: Insights from "Silent Struggler"

Introduction

The author Glenn Mollette in his book Silent Struggler is a personal story of what it means to become a caregiver. Glenn Mollette, the book is designed to offer hope, comfort, and strength to individuals facing the same challenges as Glenn Mollette. The author delivers an account of how he lives his daily life witnessing how the love of his life for over two decades experiencing pain as she has Multiple Sclerosis. The sickness has significantly affected the life of Karen, who was leading a healthy and happy life. The book comprises 39 chapters that attempt to elaborate on how great caregivers should be caring for the one who is suffering.

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Chapter 1 Bad News

Glenn Mollette recalls the circumstances, place, and time when he receives devastating news. He was attending pastors’ conference, and he was just elected as the president of pastors when he received the bad news that Karen, the love of his life, has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. By this time, Glenn Mollette was having a prestigious position in church serving and leading about 2200 pastors.

Chapter 2: A Life of Dedication and Perfection

After pastor Glenn Mollette had confirmed about the news, he proceeded to bad while her wife continued with preparation for school, there to sons Zachary and Jared also were getting ready for school. It was clear to Glenn Mollette that their life was not going to remain the same, and it was a material of time before that was evident. It was a moment to start looking for a second opinion from various specialists.

Chapter 3: MS Rears its Ugly Head

After a short while, Karen started to experience what was referred to as massive pain until she was unable to go to school. She was frequently visited with the church members of Baptist, where Glenn Mollette served as a pastor. Although she never gave up, Keren was booked by various health professionals who gave her their word of standing with her through thick and thin.

Chapter 4: Elected by Acclamation as President of the KBC

The elections in Kentucky Baptist Church (KBC) happened. Even though Glenn Mollette had not done so much campaign because he was nursing Karen and also taking care of the two boys, he won with a landslide because the church member had lots of love for him for the kind of service he was delivering to them and the kind of dedication pastor Glenn Mollette had for the church he need not campaign.

Chapter 5: From Walking to Wheelchair

After several months as Karen health deteriorated, and as she sank deep in depression, her legs started to fail. Karen was unable to walk due to the effects of the medication that she was receiving And as her legs were failing, Karen was forced to start using a wheelchair to move from one place to the next. This kind of transition did not only have a significant effect on her but also to her family, as there were numerous things that she could not perform.

Chapter 6: Encourage and allow Independence.

Independence is such a great and vital part of life, as remarked by Pastor Glenn Mollette. Karen was an independent woman who had a stable career and a teaching job at Kentucky in Pikeville city school. Mollette had encouraged her to be that hard-working woman, and Karen had just learned that over the years. Over the years, she got a master’s degree from Georgetown. Keren was such an excellent teacher.

Chapter 7: It is Different When It is You

According to Mollette, it is always easy to tell someone who is facing a difficult moment of how they will overcome and how to encourage them to be strong. However, if now it is the person giving such encouragement is facing the same, it becomes different. For Glenn Mollette’s case, he had to help her wife and do all the house chores, including tending to their boys. Also, Mollette was to do chores like washing his wife and other related work.

Chapter 8: What Do Caregivers Do

Mollette resorted to being the personal caregiver to his wife and being her primary support in helping her at home ding chores like giving her medication and changing her clothes, including grooming her wife, Karen. Also, Mollette took the role of giving his wife medication as prescribed by the various specialist whom they had visited for consultation. Besides, Mollette took it as his initiative to ensure that Karen has kept her appointments with the different doctors.

Chapter 9: Dealing with the Desire to Abandon the Ship

After few years of dealing with Karen sickness, and after Karen became entirely dependent at fast, there is that force and desire that always pushed Mollette, telling him that he can do it and take great care of her wife. Still, as days passed, the strength and the zeal and the willingness started to go down. Mollette recalls the day when he forgot Karen in the bathroom, and she had to stay there for very long hours until she had to scream for help.

Chapter 10: Overcoming the Paranoia of Pushing the Wheelchair

At first, when the Karen health was failing, it downed to Glenn Mollette that he would have to push his wife to every place as a result of her failing to walk. Karen’s inability to walk was frightening to Glenn Mollette, as he was never used to such activity. But he encouraged himself to adapt to the new life. He had to overlook any fear that would have hindered him from giving all of what it took to be the best care for his lovely wife.

Chapter 11: A Complete Change of Lifestyle

When Karen was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, life took a turn for Mollette. He now became a full-time caregiver because Karen could no longer do anything. He had to put aside all the work he used to do and pay attention to his sick wife because there was no other person who would look for her, and they did not have substantial money to pay a caregiver.

Chapter 12: What Happens to Sex?

During this time of caregiving, sex should not be a priority. The caregiver should understand the situation at hand, and therefore they should be patient enough for the patient to recover before asking for sex. Mollette says that he trained himself to reverse all the feelings of sex, and he learned to respect the fact that his wife is sick and unable to perform anything now. These feelings can be controlled if one decides to.

Chapter 13: Wild Mood Swings

Dealing with sick people is very challenging most of the time. The author says that Karen could change moods all the time. Sometime the moods would become very wild. The reason for wild mood swings in patients may be feeling stressed, low, or just some mental illness. One should be prepared to deal with wild moods from patients.

Chapter 14: Coping with the Suicidal Threats of the Patient

Mollette says he could try to calm the situation by just being there for the patient’s needs and paying great attention to the patient. A person can also try to show more love to the patient and understand what the patient may be going through. Stay positive, hoping that every challenge will end soon, and the problems will go away.

Chapter 15: Coping with Stress

With time, Karen’s multiple sclerosis grew severe. She felt like a inmate in her own body. She even attempted suicide. Mollette took her to a nursing home, and she was put in a life support machine. She was on the respirator for three days, and when she was out, she insisted on why they never let her die. She said that she was already tired and not afraid of death. She just wanted to do the act because she felt like she had just become a burden to other people.

Chapter 16: Exercise

When the body fails, it becomes difficult for one to do even very basic exercise. But Mr Mollette did not leave his wife without exercise. He took it upon himself to make sure that his wife Karen has had a slight physical engagement to keep her healthy once in a while.

Chapter 17: Be Careful About What You Eat

People can go crazy eating outside, especially when dealing with sick patients, to relieve stress. No one needs to eat the whole kitchen, and everyone should be responsible for what they are going to eat while out. One can control what they eat, and if they do not have money to go out, they can stay and eat what is available at home. However, Mollette says that sometimes it is good to eat out even with the little that you have. You do not need to eat four or three plates when going out, even just a plate of good food and dessert can do.

Chapter 18: You Must Have a Life

In most cases, a caregiver is always expected to be tending to their patients, forgetting they also have a life to lead. Despite Mr. Mollette’s role of being a caregiver to his wife, he did not abandon what defined him as a person.

Chapter 19: Let Others Help

As a caregiver, it is a times challenging to do all the work and still lead a normal life. It is even harder when the individuals involved have a family. And so as Mr. Mollette notes, it is paramount not to stand in the way of those who may want to help and seek help from other people.

Chapter 20: What People Expect of You as a Caregiver

Individuals will always anticpate you to be the perfect caregiver, yet they do not understand the responsibilities of being a caregiver. Everyone assumes that being a caregiver is just a simple task, and therefore no one should make mistakes or fail. What people do not acquire is that being a caregiver requires a lot of commitment, trying to understand better the needs of the patient, being patient, hopeful, and dedicated.

Chapter 21: Down they Go with Everybody Else

Being a caregiver is generally a challenging task, in most cases, as Mr. Mollette state. The patient can become so depressed, and in the process, the individual may end up stressing or making other people depressed. A times Karen could be so depressed to the point of warring his husband.

Chapter 22: What About Guilt

Whenever Karen could complain, or the sickness became severe, Mollette felt the guilt that maybe he had done rather wrong, or maybe he did not do his best as a caregiver. It is not that easy caring for a sick person. Sometimes you may never know what they need, and to some point, things can get complicated. However, as a caregiver, learn not to give up and be confident that the patient will soon be better.

Chapter 23: Trust and Its Impact on Relationships

Trust is a very key aspect of any relationship. There is no need to be with someone when you cannot trust them. Build the trust that when the other person is sick, they will know that you still got them. When Rachael was sick, she had fears that maybe one day, Mollette would leave her or betray her because she was sick and could no longer do anything.

Chapter 24: Medical Costs

The medical bills for Karen were piling up every day, and the author did not have enough cash to pay all the bills. Also, now he was not doing any job because he was dedicated to taking care of his sick wife. Life became harder every day, but he gave himself to hope that everything will be okay at the end.

Chapter 25: Housing Becomes a Major Issue

Paying the house mortgages became a problem as Mr. Mollette had to dedicate most of his time to taking care of the ailing wife. Besides, he did not have any other supportive business that would have kept the family afloat.

Chapter 26: Travelling with the Patient

Moving from one place to another with a patient who cannot comfortably support themselves is normally difficult. And for Mr. Mollette was not easy. Before Karen fall sick, they could move with ease from one place to the next, but after Karen was unable to walk, Mr. Mollette could go to various places without her.